2007년 6월 10일 일요일

Topic No.4


I was a quiet and an introverted girl even until I turned into 13. I would talk only to a few kids in the class because I was too shy to start talking to another person. My only wish at that time was to get along with as many friends as others did.
Then on the last day of the art exhibition at my elementary school, I had to clear up the exhibition place after the displaying days were over as I was 13 then, and thus I was one of the oldest pupils at school. Then I happened to encounter the picture with the power of changing my life.

I found a strange paint that stunned me, while I was taking off a shoulder-wide picture from the wall: I noticed the paint I was holding was drawn by one of my classmates. What made me startled was that the girl who drew the picture was such a quiet one that some students in the class didn't even get to know her name until at the end of September. I was rather indifferent of her during those days. On top of that, it was even more astonishing that in the portrait, there was a young, cold, and inconsiderate girl staring, somewhat scarily, at the person looking at the portrait. Soon I admitted that the girl was myself.

The portrait somehow linked the painter and me. It obviously made two of us be friends, and her realistic depiction of me helped us be good friends as I got a lot of chances to talk to her especially about the paint. Later this girl told me that the portrait was supposed to express her first impression of me.

This almighty picture turned out to be powerful at last. It definitely made me look back on myself of how I behaved toward others. Although a young girl, I could recognize that how other people think of me is affected by how I behave. From then, an introverted and selfish girl slowly turned into a considerate and extroverted friend of everyone. The picture still influences me on everything I do. It has been inscribed in my mind since then, that I should be friendly and kind towards people. Therefore it is no wonder that the portrait of inconsiderate myself does have a power which would influence me through my life.

댓글 3개:

Junbin Yun :

Hi Sis!!!!!!!! This is JB.
Yeah! your essays are great.
Also, the design of your blog is simple. which I love

I love my family
and you my sis

But
the only problem here is that..

we need to clarify our family relationships.. they are too messy.........................

익명 :

LUCY.

Your essay is great. It's really descriptive and elaborate. I can imagine the painting.

I had to clear up the exhibition place after the displaying days were over as I was 13 then, and thus I was one of the oldest pupils at school.

-> since I was 13 then, one of the oldest students at school.
or
because I was 13 then, and one of the oldests kids at school.

I just thought it'd flow more smoothly.

and i think "painting" should be just called paintings instead of paint :]

Paul :

The tone is awkward.

You need to practice reading and writing in English.

Some pragmatic suggestions would include:

-Run spell check / grammar check in MS Word.
-Read through it once or twice

You have great potential we just need to polish up your writing a bit.